There is no magic formula to your invitation being accepted, but it’s extremely likely that if youre kind, clear, and respectful of my time, you’ll cut a path through the noise and straight into my heart, or at the very least, my priority inbox.

The best way to rise to the top of my to-do list (which, trust me, is somewhere you'd very much like to be positioned) is to include as much information pertaining to the booking as possible, and just enough personal flair to grab my attention. If you manage to successfully convey the fact that you have chosen me because of some unique sense of character to which you feel aligned, you’ll have piqued my interest. If you have interests and curiosities (both in and outside the bedroom) you can speak about in detailed and articulate ways, then I am highly likely to want to find out more about you. If there is a desired experience you feel strongly that you’d like to try but need someone with the skill and capacity to hold space for that level of vulnerability, then I will, more often than now, feel honoured that you asked.

Being a successful companion isn’t just about tapping into a market that’s ready and waiting for you. Often, clients are particular about who they see, and there isn’t really a ‘unique selling point’: there will always be someone younger, hottler, kinkier, cheaper, or more available than you are. To describe the client-provider relationship as ‘just sex’ is a fundamental misunderstanding which I think does both parties a disservice. We may flippantly tell friends we make money on our backs, but to tell the truth, there is a level of emotional intimacy, presence, and carefully held space that goes into sex work, and this is especially true where any type of kink or power exchange is involved. We learn lots about the types of sex we have with clients. We read up on their interests, we know how to hold emotional space, tend for and articulate our boundaries, engage in mutual aid and support networks with our peers. Sometimes, for riskier types of play, we undertake medical education to make sure we’re keeping ourselves and our clients as safe as possible.

As companions, escorts, professional girlfriends, sex workers, we deal in time, and time is valuable. When you think about an escort’s hourly rate, you’re probably thinking about the face to face time we spend together. While it’s true that that’s the majority of the time we spend working, a lot of administrative work goes into planning and executing the perfect date. The most respectful thing you can do for a companion is respect their time.

The most important thing to remember is that your provider is a human being. Apart from the money (which yes, you give them at the beginning of the encounter), this is just like hooking up with any other human being. Be polite, kind, and respectful, and expect the same from them.