Openings…

Openings can be fiddly. Here's how I approach mine.

It’s hard to build a picture of someone over e-mail, and almost impossible to know if you’re going to have chemistry with that person. Providers who are selective put a lot of thought into who they see, how they spend their time and energy, and are able to choose the invitations that delight, excite, or intrigue. It’s a charmed existance and I’m grateful every day for the privellege of choosing when, how, and with whom I work. Selectivity is absolutely a privellege. I already have everything I need. I choose to work for the things I want. I can be selective because if I’m not feeling convinced a meeting is a great choice for me, I able to turn it down.

Sometimes I think ‘selective’ is one of the most misunderstood words in the booking process. Sometimes clients feel surprised that I have chosen to see them over others, given how few clients I choose to meet. I want to address the misconception that it implies a prospective client needs to reach a level of wealth, success, education, and good looks near-unobtainable for most. Those things can be nice, sure, but they’re kind of like sprinkles on top of a cake to me. Ever heard the expression fur coat, no knickers? And it’s not just as simple as beauty being more than skin deep. I don’t need you to a beautiful person per se, especially if we’re containing our experience together in a very well defined provider/client relationship. It’s about what actually sparks attraction, and those things it just ain’t. Reminds me of how when I was 15 I thought the most important value in a partner was their music taste, and now I think it’s kindness.

As in most areas of my life, when it comes to attraction I am primarily motivated by curiosity, and there is decidedly little to be curious about when someone confines what they consider to be the successes of their one wild and precious life to the surface. Something about beauty lying somewhere just out of reach of the first few layers of epidermis. Communicating the appropriate gender class signifiers of socio-sexual clout is a life’s work for some, it’s just not one that excites me very much. Just as physical appeal relies so much on the outcome of a genetic or circumstantial lottery, so to does much else of what we consider worthy of our attention. Things that are reframed as ‘classier’ because they’re luxurious without being ostentatious are still often pretty beyond our control: a well formed vowel sound, an ability to lavish gifts, or a working knowledge of the Classics. It’s sprinkles. And yeah, people love sprinkles, but what you really yearn for is the cake. Or perhaps the icing. Icing is good too.

Icing: also good

The best way to rise to the top of my to-do list (which, trust me, is somewhere you'd very much like to be positioned) is to include as much information pertaining to the booking as possible, and just enough personal flair to grab my attention. If you manage to successfully convey the fact that you have chosen me because of some unique sense of character to which you feel aligned, you’ll have piqued my interest. If you have interests and curiosities (both in and outside the bedroom) you can speak about in detailed and articulate ways, then I am highly likely to want to find out more about you. If there is a desired experience you feel strongly that you’d like to try but need someone with the skill and capacity to hold space for that level of vulnerability, then I will, more often than not, feel honoured that you asked.

I am selective about whom I meet, but this doesn't mean I'm unapproachable or uninvested. Quite the opposite. I am so deliciously invested in my dates that I reserve my time for only those I have a genuine and deeply felt desire to see. Think about why you want to see a provider. This can look very different from person to person, but if you feel a strong pull towards me based on the parts of myself I have shown you on my website, then I strongly encourage you to make a thoughtful and purposeful inquiry.

I think the point I am circling the drain of, at a wildly insomniac 4 a.m., is that there is no magic formula to your invitation being accepted, but it’s extremely likely that if youre kind, clear, and respectful of my time, you’ll cut a path through the noise and straight into my heart, or at the very least, my priority inbox.

Perfect grammar or sparkling wit isn't necessary - I am moved by self-knowledge, graciousness, and warmth. Shoot your shot.

Off to get cake